I'm not the kind of hyper-popular blogger who is missed by thousands when I go missing for more than a week. I know that and I'm o.k. with that. Still, for the faithful few who do keep up with this blog, I do try not to let too much time lag between entries.
So it's been a couple of weeks since last I blogged. I got to enjoy our vacation with my wife's folks, including a couple of spring training games. I even got to operate the radar gun used to measure pitch speeds by one scout. Need proof? Look here.
I only hope I didn't ruin some pitcher's prospects by screwing up the gun's reading. Baseball careers are fragile things, especially for pitchers.
I had and have to remind myself that I needed that break. It's hard especially to remember that right now, as the end-of-semester crunch becomes more and more present, with papers to write, projects to prepare, trips for non-vacation purposes (including my first trip back to Kansas since moving) including the ordination process and its next step for me, and of course the continuing fact of being treated for that pesky cancer. Whichever poet penned that line about April being the cruelest month is starting to sound prophetic.
Chemo is still a draining thing, but a day or two of fatigue and some tingling fingers are hardly the kind of side effects I feel highly compelled to complain about, compared to what others have gone through. It isn't how I planned to spend my middle year, mind you, but I do know I'm fortunate compared to many who have been far more wracked by their treatment than I.
I'm reminded again that I've been fortunate to be surrounded by an array of incredibly supportive and caring people. Many of them are also pretty stunning ministers-to-be, like this one. If your idea of the future of the church hinges on preserving existing institutions or maintaining social or cultural status, you're probably down and out about it; when I look at the people who are going to be part of helping shape and guide that future, I feel a lot better.
What role I play in that is still a part of the process unfolding. I can't know which direction things will go; I still feel a strong pull towards the doing of worship and liturgy, but there are other things that start to make sense to me as well. Too soon to talk about them here, but it might be a topic for future blogs. We'll see.
In the meantime, the cruelest month awaits, the gauntlet is thrown down, the obstacle course demands that I run it. And if it turns out to be a couple of weeks before the next entry I beg your indulgence.