Saturday, August 25, 2012

A bit more of a challenge than I really need...

No point in beating around the bush.  That colonoscopy yesterday led to a diagnosis of cancer of the rectum.

More tests are going to be necessary before I know much else.  For the moment it seems to be confined to that one region (rectum, not colon, for example), but they're going to have to look around more to know that for sure.  And until that kind of thing is clarified, it's impossible to say what kind of treatment is required.  So, I can't really guess at much else.

I certainly was not expecting this.  Trouble with bowel movements doesn't typically scream to me "hmm, wonder if I have cancer?"  This was not at all something I could predict based on anything going on inside of me.

I am shocked to say the least.  My wife is equally so, though (bless her soul) she won't show it easily.  I don't have any interest in panicking at this point.  Find out what needs to be done, and get on with it.  As far as I can see that's all I can do.

I certainly don't plan to give up the fool's errand.  Depending on what treatment is required there might be some adjustments of schedule, but I'll still be at Union unless I can't get out of bed.

On the other hand, might there be more urgency about some things?  Sure.  More time writing, for one thing.  More time being in the church.  One doesn't want to take chances and miss out on things.

And no, I don't necessarily plan on this turning into a cancer blog.  I am sure it will necessarily come up, since it's going to impact my life at least for a while, but that's not all I want to talk about.  I still want to be able to go on about baseball when the mood strikes me, not to mention the whole fool's errand that gave this blog its birth.  But I'm not Lance Armstrong (come to think of it, I'm probably glad of that today) or some other famous cancer patient, and I won't pretend to have the pull to start a foundation or set off some inspirational movement.  I'm just a guy who will have to deal with whatever treatment is going to be required.  So be it.

I will no doubt be relying on the kindness of friends, strangers, and a whole lot of other folks.  It is presumably still possible that I get somewhat worse news about it, which I will deal with if it happens.  I'm not naive; cancer is cancer.  But I don't plan to panic until there's nothing else to do.  (And I believe there's always something else to do.)

So that's what's going on now.  Sorry to drop this bombshell on you on a Saturday afternoon, those who read this via my Facebook link...but this is what is going on now.

P.S.  Those of you who see me around, be prepared for the fact that I deal with shocking news mostly by means of really corny jokes and one-liners.  If you want to help me feel better, laugh at the jokes.

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